how my mother works
me: mom i got all A's
me: mom i cleaned the whole house
me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom: is this your cup on the table?
mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
boy: there are 206 bones in the body, want 1 more? ;)
girl: yeah sure ;)
boy stabs girl with rib of dead cow
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’. plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter
me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing
mrcraabs: roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
Friend: You've never heard that song before?
Friend: What, have you been living under a rock?
Me: Punk Rock
Fuck you, fuck them, fuck everyone.